A bit amiss

I don't know what it is, but the last few days have been off. At first I thought it was something to do with me, or the weather, or simply just being depressed at having parentals breathing down my neck for an entire weekend, but theres just something else tugging at the edge of my mind. Its like a damp weight I can't shake; like somethings about to happen and its too terrible to really let in. Kinda crazy I know, but Chris agreed with me and we chatted about it while seeking comfort food in the Atascadero Albertsons. If I went a little out there and forgot for a minute that I wasn't a lunatic with a crystal ball, I would say that It feels like a tragedy happened; or someone died, and the rest of the world hasn't caught up yet. As if I'm just waiting for the inevitable; powerless to do anything about it, and its right at my doorstep. There's something in the wind that makes me not want to go outside- a spooky sort of night that is recreated with music and good filmography in horror movies. I don't know why it scares me but it does. Its similar to that feeling I used to get in middle school- when depression was something i whined about to my diaries.

Before I pinpointed this, my head was absorbed with finding out what it was that was making me lethargic and on edge at the same time- that feeling I had after my grandpa died- in mourning and waiting for the next blow to come. Is it a premonition of some sort? I have no idea; but its creeping me out and I'm waiting for it to go away. I hope it does, or that the blow comes, because the anguish is in the waiting, not in the moment of truth.